Tea Time Chit-Chat #2

It’s tea time! I feel like this is something I am definitely going to be looking forward to each time I do it. I’ve literally been sitting here thinking about how many more free minutes I have until I have to start getting ready for work. Another long shift today but work has been going pretty well here lately. I feel like I am starting to get back to my normal self. However, my animals are driving me insane as of late. Why, oh why, do they have to make such messes? It’s like they purposely want to mess with my OCD. I will clean something, organize the area, and then BAM… freight trains 1, 2, and 3 come barging through with their filthy paws. I love them to pieces but I need an animal whisperer or something so I can figure out what in the world is going through their heads.

There was a time whenever I did daily inspirational quotes on my Instagram and I really think I want to try and incorporate that into these posts but it would just be the Q.O.T.D. because I don’t plan on making tea time a daily ordeal (my life isn’t interesting enough for that). So, let’s go for one that motivates me every day.

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to tell myself this multiple times in a day because it motivates me to keep moving forward, no matter what may push me down. Have you guys ever had a day where you just feel like nothing is going right? Your hair is a mess, your eyebrows are uneven, you broke your favorite necklace, you dropped something at work, and you almost fell trying to help someone else out. This is my daily life and there are days when I just want to throw in the towel, but let me tell you… that “never give up” part is the most important of all. You have to keep pushing, keep trying, and keep spreading positivity and love. This is how good vibes come back into your doorway. Let the let shine through and you’ll never feel that a dark day has no escape.

Random question, but, would you guys like it if I had more planner-related posts? I’m obsessed with my planner, I even got an Erin Condren Lesson Planner for student teaching coming up, and I think it would be a really awesome way for me to practice my blog photography as well. Let me know in the comments if you guys would be interested in that because I don’t want to constantly post uninteresting things. ?

Well, that’s all for now! Cheers x

xo Kimberly Signature

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6 Things That Have Made Me Happy Recently

happy

Although I have been having a rough time here lately, I cannot say that life has been miserable because it truly has not. I have had so many reasons to be happy and thankful for the life I have been blessed with. I am still struggling day-to-day with the loss of my mother and battling depression and anxiety along with it but I refuse to let those things control who I am and my future.

happy

  1. Being dog-tackled. Whenever I came home from Ireland, my pup was so excited to see me. Literally, cannot explain the amount of joy I felt whenever I saw how happy he was to see me. It was like we were meeting for the first time all over again and it made me realize why I chose that (not-so) little pupper.
  2. Irish breakfast tea. Ever since I returned from being abroad, I have truly have been addicted to hot tea in the mornings. I brought quite a bit of Irish tea back and I’m going to have to order more online once I run out because I’m not sure how my mornings would go anymore without a wee cuppa tea.
  3. Building my crystal collection. I have been working on building my collection more and more. I started my set while in Florida with my Aunt Laurra and have just continued to get all the beauties. I have such a diverse selection that I feel truly covers the chakras as well as my own personal needs.
  4. New coloring books. I loooove to color. I swear that’s part of why I chose elementary as my focus in school; I’m such a big kid on the inside. I love to release stress and just make beautiful things out of something blank. I got a beautiful Celtic designs coloring at Trinity College while I was in Ireland and I also received an awesome coloring book from a friend for my birthday right before I went away. I cannot wait until I have more free time and can dig into them properly.
  5. Quality time with Aunt Laurra. Ever since my Momma passed, my Aunt Laurra has been my rock. She has been there to talk anytime I needed it and truly has been like a surrogate mother to me. I couldn’t ask for a more loving and caring individual to share my life with. She and my mom were extremely close and I am so grateful to say that we are just as close.
  6. Fixed vacuum cleaner. This may seem so simple but my lovely dog decided to chew the cord my mom’s vacuum that I inherited so I had to get one from a friend. It wasn’t working too well and wasn’t really picking up anything so I was really confused as to what was going on. However, another friend of mine and my roommate’s graciously fixed it and now my floors have never been cleaner!

Life isn’t perfect but neither am I so why fake it? I am so happy to say that the little things in life are what make life worth living. I truly hope I can continue on this path of positivity and happiness as the days go by. They say each day gets easier but I was really doubting that… until now.

xo Kimberly Signature

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Tea Time Chit-Chat #1

tea time 1

I thought this would be a good little series to start to keep me from feeling too stressed when writing on the blog. I feel like I sometimes it felt as though I was writing content because I thought it was what others wanted to read rather than what I wanted to write about, but my blog is for me and it started with the intent of helping me with my anxiety and depression. So, I’m going to use it as just that and start a daily, every other day, or whenever I feel like it tea time chit-chat post. I’ll number them off and hopefully get something going where I can have myself and readers looking forward to it.

tea time 1

So, as I sip my tea, I hear my pup chewing on his “log” — yes it is a log, not a stick — and the rain falling slowly outside, I’m thinking of the day ahead. I was supposed to go to work at 7:30 this morning but someone has quit in the night shift and I was already double scheduled, accidentally wrote down for a morning and closing shift, so they sent me back and said to come in for the night shift instead. A little salty because I was already there, awake, dressed, and now I feel dog tired but don’t really want to sleep the day away… and I know that is exactly what I would do if I went back to sleep right now. Might have a wee nap later to keep me awake during my closing shift, since we’ve started on summer hours and don’t close until 11 p.m. on normal weekdays now.

I need to go to the post office and get my package that has been sitting there since the day after I left for Ireland (yes, I realize I’m awful at procrastinating and forgetting things). I’ll probably try to pop over there and get that today. I did manage to adult somewhat today and dropped off my rent in the drop box for my landlord — though today was the last day that it was able to be turned in (I know, I know — I’m awful).

Honestly, I am really hoping for a more positive and less anxiety-driven day today. It seems like every day has been so draining for me here lately and I hate that. I am tired by eight at night and ready to just sleep for 10+ hours. That’s not something I need to get into the habit of. I got my letter about student teaching seminar a couple days ago so I am getting more and more excited about student teaching. It’s only 66 days, 22 hours, and 29 some-odd minutes away until I will be in the classroom on my very first day. I have so much planning and shopping to do! I need more professional clothing because I will have to do laundry waaay too often if I just stick to what I have now. I need more slacks specifically. Although dresses are cute, I’m not always in a dressy mood.

Well, I guess that’s enough rambling for today. (Also, let me know what you think of the blog photo because it’s actually mine today. I wanted to capture the rainy day with my cup of tea!)

xo Kimberly Signature

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6 Things That Really Grind My Gears

grinds my gears

Can’t be positive all the time, can ya? Just figured I’d rant about life in general to you guys since this seems to be the best form of therapy that I could ever ask for (and whaddayaknow… it’s free!). Life is too short to be wasting my life away on people, things, and actions that aren’t going to help better me in the end. You wanna know what really grinds my gears?

grinds my gears

  1. Slow drivers in pretty weather. I can be pretty patient with bad/slow drivers if the weather is gross, thunder-y, stormy, and just overall bleh. I cannot however be okay with someone who drives ridiculously slow whenever there is no reason to do so. What’s going on? Did you forget the speed limit? Could you not see it? Do we need to go to the eye doctor together? Come on, I’ll hold your hand. Honestly, I would love to help out all these awesome people reach their full potential in the area of automotive control.
  2. People who follow the majority. Not saying that just because you believe the same thing as a large group of others that this applies to you. No. I mean those that follow the majority because they don’t care nor do they understand anything to do with said situation and just choose to jump on the bandwagon and take a little spin around the park. This is just too much for me.
  3. Drama. I would say a specific type but it seems all types are drifting into my shores here lately. I. do. not. care. Please leave me out of your petty, high school drama. I graduate college in December, I live on my own, and I take care of myself and my animals. I have no time nor energy to deal with fake people, whether it be friends, family, or complete strangers.
  4. Talking down to someone when you’re the problem. Just yesterday, I heard a woman talking mad crap about my tattoo shop. Granted, I am biased and I am not familiar with the participate place I was at (was with a friend to get her tongue pierced), but why was that necessary? Do you think that it makes the other shop feel all warm and fuzzy that the other place wasn’t your cup of tea and that they are everything but nice? Not to mention that it was hilarious when I went to schedule my next tattoo and the guy knew exactly who I was talking about and said she was mad because she drove from another city to come in, without an appointment, and they couldn’t fit her in at that moment so she was salty.
  5. Humid heat. Why, oh why, is this a thing? Like, dry heat I can handle. No problem. Beautiful. Let me lay in it all day. Humid heat? Hit me upside the head with a sledgehammer because I am dead. It makes me feel disgusting. Nevermind what is does to my hair, makeup, and how badly I smell when I start sweating after being outside for the five minutes it takes to let my dog go potty. Imagine a whole day out there? Bless outdoor workers (like my brother and uncle).
  6. When my nails break. Do you know how annoying it is when my nails break? You see, I’m OCD. Like in all sense of the meaning. I cannot just let my nails sit there with one oddball looking one. I have to try to make them look even and presentable… even if I don’t have a nail file, nail clippers, or anything to groom them with. This means, yes, I will bite at them, tear them on with my fingers, and do whatever I can to make those puppies look normal again.

What grinds your gears, gets you going, and just overall could ruin your good mood? Let me know in the comments.

xo Kimberly Signature

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Lost Without You

lost

I’m so lost without you.

lost

This is exactly how I am feeling. It’s been eight months, two weeks, and one day since I last saw you. This emotional rollercoaster of mine is about to derail. I just keep seeing her beautiful face and remembering her comforting voice. It feels so good and so terrifying all at the same time, like the adrenaline you get from going up on that rollercoaster.

After one month, I didn’t know if I’d ever be okay. My world was spiraling and I still tried to pick up my phone to text and call her whenever I needed her. My family would ask if I was okay and I’d just give a fake smile and say, “I’m trying to be.” I can’t express how hard it is to feel this distant from those that I love the move.

After three months, it was her birthday. It was the Christmas celebration without her. It was starting a new year soon, knowing that I would never get to wish her a Happy New Year ever again. I could only hope she was three margaritas deep in afterlife paradise and telling me to, “Smile, baby girl.”

After six months, I felt like maybe it would get easier. I was still depressed and worried and crying a lot, but I didn’t wake up every morning feeling as though it was a bad dream. Realizing it wasn’t just a dream was probably the worst way to deal with the pain. I wanted to forget. I wanted to heal. I wanted her to come back and be by my side. We all know that isn’t possible.

Now, heading towards the ninth month, I don’t know that I feel any better. I feel weak. I feel like I can’t control my own emotions. I never had a handle on them but now it’s just out of control. I try to wake up from this nightmare and I keep getting reminded that it is reality. This is my reality. Without her.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be okay again. They say that there is sacredness in tears. I don’t know how to feel about this. Crying has always made me feel weak, but it’s supposed to make me strong. My tears are supposed to speak, but I hear no words. Tears show that there was once happiness, but I have to wonder… will I ever find that happiness again?

xo Kimberly Signature

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My Ten-Year Bucket List

No one knows what the future holds but I know my hopes for it. Inspired by the wonderful Jemma at Dorkface, I am going to list off some of the things that I want to do in the next ten years to compile my very own ten-year bucket list.

  1. See Beartooth once a year every year.
  2. Get married.
  3. Go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.
  4. Travel to London, Portland, Rome, Paris, Spain, and Germany.
  5. Learn to play the piano.
  6. Go on a cruise.
  7. Go shopping in NYC.
  8. Learn another language fluently.
  9. Go to New Orleans during Mardi Gras.
  10. Get my masters and doctorate.
  11. Volunteer at an animal shelter.
  12. Meet a celebrity.
  13. Have babies.
  14. Complete an exercise challenge.
  15. Write a children’s book.

Now to start planning all of this! Leave your bucket list ideas in the comments.

xo Kimberly Signature

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May: Ireland, Birthday, & Life

may recap

I swear I am going to get back into blogging regularly. There has just been so much going on in my life and I can’t believe that it’s already June! It feels like 2017 just started yesterday. My life has been a whirlwind of ups, downs, and turnarounds for months now. May was no exception to this. So much happened during this month! I traveled outside of the country and rode on a plane for the first time, I had my 22nd birthday while IN Ireland, and I’ve had a rollercoaster of emotions going through my head as the month has carried out.

may recap

Ireland: Let me just tell you… if you’ve never been to Ireland, go… right now. Go on online, buy your ticket, and go spend a holiday there. I cannot tell you how amazing this experience was for me. I had so many new things that I got to experience from visiting historical sites to going to pubs to having some fab gelato. I would not trade any of these memories for anything. I also want to to thank my family and friends for all they did to help me prepare for that trip and for wishing me luck and safe travels during my journies. I traveled to Belfast, Galway, Cork, and Dublin while I was there. I will have an entire blog post dedicated to this trip here soon… once I sort through my thousands of pictures.

Birthday: While I was in Ireland, I celebrated my 22nd birthday! Although there was no cake or balloons, just the experience of turning 22 in another country was enough to make it an amazing birthday. Although 22 isn’t an “exciting” birthday for most people, I am determined to make this year my best yet. I am so excited for all the things that my future has in store; I am going on a paranormal overnight tour of Waverly Hills Sanatorium this month, I start student teaching in August, and my pup turns one in November! There is so much to look forward to.

Life: As you may have noticed in my intro, I have had some ups and downs on the emotional front. I have hit some pretty low lows and had hardly any highs at all (no pun intended). Ever since my mom passed away, it feels as if life is not as exciting. Ireland was a huge highlight and has truly uplifted my spirits in many ways. At first, her passing made me realize how precious life is and how important family and friends are, but after awhile, I just kept falling deeper into a depression that I cannot explain. After hitting myself in the head a few times for these awful thoughts, I have now rehashed those feelings of a bright life and bright future. I just hope I can keep on this path of positivity throughout these next few months.

I’d love to hear how you all’s May went. I mean, it had to be brilliant because you all are amazingly fantastic individuals who deserve everything you desire out of life, but who knows… you may have gotten an iguana while I was away! Let me know in the comments below, I miss you all. ❤️

P.S. How come no one told me how amazing tea in the morning is? #justirishthings #actuallyithinkitsaeuropeanthing

xo Kimberly Signature

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How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

how to boost your self esteem

Now, taking the title in mind, there is NO sure-fire why of boosting your self-esteem… HOWEVER, there are many things that we can do that slowly improve it over time, with some effort on your part. We all struggle with body image issues, feeling like we’re not good enough, and many other low self-esteem factors. I myself have struggled with all of the above for years. I am a curvy, short girl with acne, crooked teeth, and a ton of emotional scarring… but I make it through! I still have my bad days, like I talked about in my last blog post, but most of the time I can look in the mirror and find something that I like about myself. I believe we should all be able to do this! So, I have some tips that help me make it through each day with a little boost, and I hope they help you, too!

how to boost your self esteem

  1. Take care of yourself. This goes without saying but many of us do not do the things we should each day for our body. We were only given one and we need to take care of it. Whether that means getting a pedicure when you’re feeling it or just lowering your soda intake, whatever it is.. do it and do it for you.
  2. Counter your negative thought with a positive one. I do this A LOT whenever I am feeling down. I will think bad things about myself and knock myself down but then I’ll look in the mirror or think to myself, “Hey, this may be something I think is wrong but I really love this about myself.” It really does help. Eventually, you won’t have to think about doing it because you’ll do it automatically and hopefully someday those negative thoughts won’t come around!
  3. Work towards improving the things you don’t like. The only want to improve is to change it. If there is something about yourself that you don’t like, work towards making it what you want it to be. Don’t do it for anyone but yourself, though. I have been guilty of this many times, trying to change myself to find friends, a guy, etc. You need to change for you and only you.
  4. Dress to impress. This is a must for me. Whenever I want to feel good, I dress better. I will wear those heels and nice lingerie to class because I want to impress MYSELF. It automatically gives you a boost of confidence when you are feeling the outfit you’re wearing.
  5. Be nice to others! I often find that when I am mean to others or snap off, I am also doing the same things to myself. Whether it be a bad mood or a hormone imbalance, it is always nice to just say something nice or nothing at all. Plus, being kind to others can lead to friendships (which can also boost your self-esteem!).
  6. Be nice to yourself. This is a biggy. No one really thinks that being nice to themselves is going to get them anywhere. This directly relates to the counterargument tip above. You have to treat yourself with respect or no one else will. You deserve the world and you best believe that!
  7. Start slow and work your way up. Even if you just start with exercising once a week or taking a me-day twice a month, whatever baby steps you can make towards a more confident you, do them! They can’t hurt if they’re positive and you are still working towards that ultimate goal of improving yourself.
  8. Do something you enjoy. I always feel better when I am doing something that makes me happy. Whether is hanging out with my friends or reading a good book, whatever it is that makes me happy, I go for it whenever I am feeling down. Do this! Call the girls over for a Netflix sesh or go on a shopping spree. Whatever makes you smile is what will do the trick.

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xo Kimberly Signature

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A fat girl living in a thin world

a fat girl living in a thin world

a fat girl living in a thin world

You know, I’ve always wanted to be like the pretty girls. Thin, petite, beautiful… the whole works. I wanted to feel like I fit into today’s societal norms. I have never been a small girl. Even as a kid, I grew up with a little extra always weighing on me. I was always made fun of for being “fat” in school. Once I started having problems finding clothes in all the mainstream stores, it became apparent that I was different. I wasn’t like my friends who were sizes 2 and 4 and could easily wear any medium shirt you handed them. I had to get an extra large to be comfortable and I hated the feeling of not being able to get something because they didn’t carry it in my size. Now, being a size 24, I feel like a complete failure.

I feel like I have failed myself and my body. The body that I was blessed with is now a symbol of my doubt in my abilities and of the lack of effort I’ve put into my health. Yes, I have a lot of factors working against myself but I don’t exactly eat and perform how I should in order to be at a healthy weight for myself. I should be around 130 pounds for someone my age and height. Being over twice that is something I never thought I’d ever be dealing with.

Most days, I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I feel disgusted with the horror that I have created. Between giving in to my addiction of food, depression, and lack of self-control, I have never given my body the treatment it deserves. There are times when I try to eat healthier, exercise regularly, and maintain a healthy lifestyle… but then I get discouraged by the tiniest thing and I’m right back at step one.

I had a realization this weekend that hit me hard. I realized that I have hit my all time low. I am so far in depression that I cannot pick myself up to even work towards a happier life. I need a push. Looking in the mirror and trying to shop for clothes this weekend was that push. As I looked through the plus size sections of Charlotte Russe and Forever 21, I saw how skewed our society is towards thin women.

I believe all bodies are beautiful. Whether you’re a size 2 or 22, you are beautiful and special in your own unique ways. However, I also believe in living a healthy lifestyle, no matter what that means for the number on the scale. Looking at the selections given in the “Plus” sections of these mainstream stores shows the lack of accommodations made for big girls. They provide the same clothes in the same styles, with no work towards a better fit or more appropriate materials for the body type they are targeting. They simply recreate the same tight-fitting, little black dress and expect it to work for every body type that comes in. To me, that just creates more depression and self-esteem issues among the plus size community.

Yes, many of us want to lose weight to not only be healthy but feel healthy but shouldn’t our society accept us as we are in all of our forms, good or bad? This is something that often baffles me when I think about the world today. That no matter how many times by family and friends tell me that I’m beautiful, I can look online or in a magazine and see that I am not beautiful to the majority of our world.

Plain and simple, it hurts and I want to feel like I’m a part of my world. Maybe being thin isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I know all women and men have self-esteem and body image issues that they fight separately every day. I have never doubted that, but looking at our world makes me wonder if, even with all the body positive and #TheseCurves campaigns and movements, will the world ever acknowledge a fat girl in a thin world?

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xo Kimberly Signature

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2017 New Year’s Resolutions

2017 new year's resolutions

After taking a week off from Blogmas, I am back and plan to be better than ever! New year, new me… right? Well, sorta. This year has been a whirlwind of emotions and crazy ups and downs. Apart from the obvious negatives that happened, I started my first semester of my senior status in college, I moved into my own apartment, I got a decent job for extra cash, and I have started planning to leave the country for the first time ever! There have been good times and definitely bad but I’m alive and I want to work on improving myself even more with the new year.

#1 Continue to work towards losing weight and getting healthier.

This will forever be everyone’s New Year’s goal because it is one that everyone needs to worry about after the holidays. Although I was doing well with this before my mom passed, I felt short after that and I haven’t been able to steer myself in the right direction since. I want this to change!

#2 Graduate successfully.

Obviously, I don’t see this going wrong at this point. This coming up spring is my last semester of classes and then I will be student teaching in the fall. I am so excited to keep moving forward with this part of my life and finally getting to a point where I am teaching as a career!

#3 Save money to rent a house.

Having been thinking about this for awhile and have talked with both my boyfriend and roommate in regards to the topic. We’ve decided that it would be great to move into a house so we have more room and also more space for the three of us. With having three fur babies (although one is in a cage), it can be difficult to live in a small two-bedroom apartment.

#4 Begin monetizing my blog.

Although I hoped to reach this goal awhile ago, I still want to work towards it. I don’t know much about monetizing or what I need to do to start moving forward with that. I have moved over to being completely self-hosted through Bluehost* while using a WordPress.org control system. So, that’s a step in the right direction… I think?

#5 Focus more on content for my readers.

I really use my blog as an outlet right now. This is the reason I started my blog as well. However, as I move towards monetizing and using my blog for helping others rather than myself, I want to focus on things that my readers want to read about. Now, obviously, my readers enjoy what I write about now so I will not completely abandon my ways.

2017 new year's resolutions pinterest image

xo Kimberly Signature

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