Lost Without You

lost

I’m so lost without you.

lost

This is exactly how I am feeling. It’s been eight months, two weeks, and one day since I last saw you. This emotional rollercoaster of mine is about to derail. I just keep seeing her beautiful face and remembering her comforting voice. It feels so good and so terrifying all at the same time, like the adrenaline you get from going up on that rollercoaster.

After one month, I didn’t know if I’d ever be okay. My world was spiraling and I still tried to pick up my phone to text and call her whenever I needed her. My family would ask if I was okay and I’d just give a fake smile and say, “I’m trying to be.” I can’t express how hard it is to feel this distant from those that I love the move.

After three months, it was her birthday. It was the Christmas celebration without her. It was starting a new year soon, knowing that I would never get to wish her a Happy New Year ever again. I could only hope she was three margaritas deep in afterlife paradise and telling me to, “Smile, baby girl.”

After six months, I felt like maybe it would get easier. I was still depressed and worried and crying a lot, but I didn’t wake up every morning feeling as though it was a bad dream. Realizing it wasn’t just a dream was probably the worst way to deal with the pain. I wanted to forget. I wanted to heal. I wanted her to come back and be by my side. We all know that isn’t possible.

Now, heading towards the ninth month, I don’t know that I feel any better. I feel weak. I feel like I can’t control my own emotions. I never had a handle on them but now it’s just out of control. I try to wake up from this nightmare and I keep getting reminded that it is reality. This is my reality. Without her.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be okay again. They say that there is sacredness in tears. I don’t know how to feel about this. Crying has always made me feel weak, but it’s supposed to make me strong. My tears are supposed to speak, but I hear no words. Tears show that there was once happiness, but I have to wonder… will I ever find that happiness again?

xo Kimberly Signature

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Tumblr

Any link marked with * is an affiliate link.

Continue Reading

How to Boost Your Self-Esteem

how to boost your self esteem

Now, taking the title in mind, there is NO sure-fire why of boosting your self-esteem… HOWEVER, there are many things that we can do that slowly improve it over time, with some effort on your part. We all struggle with body image issues, feeling like we’re not good enough, and many other low self-esteem factors. I myself have struggled with all of the above for years. I am a curvy, short girl with acne, crooked teeth, and a ton of emotional scarring… but I make it through! I still have my bad days, like I talked about in my last blog post, but most of the time I can look in the mirror and find something that I like about myself. I believe we should all be able to do this! So, I have some tips that help me make it through each day with a little boost, and I hope they help you, too!

how to boost your self esteem

  1. Take care of yourself. This goes without saying but many of us do not do the things we should each day for our body. We were only given one and we need to take care of it. Whether that means getting a pedicure when you’re feeling it or just lowering your soda intake, whatever it is.. do it and do it for you.
  2. Counter your negative thought with a positive one. I do this A LOT whenever I am feeling down. I will think bad things about myself and knock myself down but then I’ll look in the mirror or think to myself, “Hey, this may be something I think is wrong but I really love this about myself.” It really does help. Eventually, you won’t have to think about doing it because you’ll do it automatically and hopefully someday those negative thoughts won’t come around!
  3. Work towards improving the things you don’t like. The only want to improve is to change it. If there is something about yourself that you don’t like, work towards making it what you want it to be. Don’t do it for anyone but yourself, though. I have been guilty of this many times, trying to change myself to find friends, a guy, etc. You need to change for you and only you.
  4. Dress to impress. This is a must for me. Whenever I want to feel good, I dress better. I will wear those heels and nice lingerie to class because I want to impress MYSELF. It automatically gives you a boost of confidence when you are feeling the outfit you’re wearing.
  5. Be nice to others! I often find that when I am mean to others or snap off, I am also doing the same things to myself. Whether it be a bad mood or a hormone imbalance, it is always nice to just say something nice or nothing at all. Plus, being kind to others can lead to friendships (which can also boost your self-esteem!).
  6. Be nice to yourself. This is a biggy. No one really thinks that being nice to themselves is going to get them anywhere. This directly relates to the counterargument tip above. You have to treat yourself with respect or no one else will. You deserve the world and you best believe that!
  7. Start slow and work your way up. Even if you just start with exercising once a week or taking a me-day twice a month, whatever baby steps you can make towards a more confident you, do them! They can’t hurt if they’re positive and you are still working towards that ultimate goal of improving yourself.
  8. Do something you enjoy. I always feel better when I am doing something that makes me happy. Whether is hanging out with my friends or reading a good book, whatever it is that makes me happy, I go for it whenever I am feeling down. Do this! Call the girls over for a Netflix sesh or go on a shopping spree. Whatever makes you smile is what will do the trick.

Like this post? Save it to your Pinterest using the image below!

how to boost your self esteem pinterest image

xo Kimberly Signature

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Tumblr

Any link marked with * is an affiliate link.

Continue Reading

Blogmas Day 25 | MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

merry christmas

Well, we made it, guys! It’s officially the last day of Blogmas on Life of Kimberly! I have never done this long of a streak with having a new post every single day. I am so proud that I made it through to the very end. Not only is it the last day of Blogmas, but it is also Christmas – one of my favorite holidays of the year.

Being the first Christmas without my mom, I’m really struggling with my emotions on this day. It’s been such a surreal last few months and I miss her more and more each day. I am so grateful for all of my supporters whether you just read my blog, comment every day, or even my friends and family who don’t even recognize that I do blog. Everyone has been there for me in ways that I can never show enough gratitude for.

This Christmas, I wanted to extend the biggest thank you to all of my amazing supporters. I hope that I’ll be able to hold a big giveaway or just do something specific for those most loyal to my blog this time next year but, as I get no income from blogging, I am living on limited means.

To plan for the next year, what would you like to see in a future giveaway? I definitely want to try and include makeup and beauty products, as those are definitely my weakness, but there are so many awesome brands and products around that I want to know specifics. Give me the deets in the comments below!

If you missed any of my Blogmas posts throughout this month, you can catch up through the links below:
Blogmas Day 1 | Happy Birthday, Mom.
Blogmas Day 2 | How To ROCK Finals Week
Blogmas Day 3 | Recent Pins: Dec. 3rd
Blogmas Day 4 | Holiday Bucket List
Blogmas Day 5 | Christmas Gift Ideas for Her
Blogmas Day 6 | Christmas Gift Ideas for Him
Blogmas Day 7 | Fall 2016 Semester Review
Blogmas Day 8 | HUGE ColourPop Haul
Blogmas Day 9 | 20 Holiday-Themed Journal Prompts
Blogmas Day 10 | First Impressions & Review: OFRA Cosmetics Long Lasting Liquid Lipsticks
Blogmas Day 11 | Body Positive Quotes for “Those” Moments
Blogmas Day 12 | Favorite YouTubers of All Time
Blogmas Day 13 | Top 10 Most Played Songs on My Playlist
Blogmas Day 14 | DIY Christmas Gifts
Blogmas Day 15 | My Christmas Tree Reveal
Blogmas Day 16 | Current Beauty Wishlist
Blogmas Day 17 | Gift Ideas for the Harry Potter Nerds in Your Life
Blogmas Day 18 | Mini ColourPop Haul + Swatches
Blogmas Day 19 | Recent Pins: Dec. 19th
Blogmas Day 20 | Top 5 Favorite Stores for Plus Size Clothing
Blogmas Day 21 | 7 Ways to Be Creative at Home
Blogmas Day 22 | 10 Things I Don’t Regret
Blogmas Day 23 | Two-Ingredient Holiday Punch Recipe
Blogmas Day 24 | Winter Wonder Wants

I love you all. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and I hope you all have the merriest of times!

xo Kimberly Signature

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Tumblr

Any link marked with * is an affiliate link.

Continue Reading

Blogmas Day 12 | Favorite YouTubers of All Time

YouTube is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time but never had the guts to go through with (I’m planning for this to change soon 😉). I seriously admire those who can get in front of a camera and just be themselves. I love watching videos of so many different kinds, from my favorite lifestyle and beauty gurus to gameplay for League of Legends and voice impressions. That being said, I’m going to share with you (as of now) my favorite YouTubers of all time!

#1 Laura Lee

This girl has slowly become my ride-or-die YouTuber. She’s hilarious, quirky, sweet, and GORGEOUS. I love all the different things she offers, from weird beauty hacks to makeup tutorials that slay my existence. She is one of the most down-to-Earth YouTubers I’ve ever come across. She even has shared how she went from being “fake” on camera to learning to finally be herself to her subscribers. And I think that this is what makes her so amazing.

#2 Jaclyn Hill

Everyone loves this girl. She’s easily one of the most well-known beauty gurus of all time. She’s been on YouTube for ages and has become a hit among young teens. She’s done several collaborations with brands–best known for her Becca collaboration in creating the highlighter, Champagne Pop–and she has done exceptionally well from herself. Being able to share her personal life, her backstory, and so much more with her subscribers is something that hits home with me. I always love when I can connect with the people I watch on YouTube. She makes that sooo easy.

#3 Shaaanxo

Another well-known beauty guru, Shan, is definitely in my top favs for the YouTube world. She is such a light-hearted and happy woman. I love the amount of creativity she puts into her channel. Although I love a good smokey eye, she brings life back into makeup. Everything from special effects to get ready with me videos, she’s got you covered. She rocks a bold lip and makes me feel like nothing is too unique for me.

#4 Brizzy Voices

Although she does some beauty videos, one that breaks away from my normal watching needs on YouTube is Brizzy! She is an amazing YouTubers that is well known for her voice and singing impressions. She can do so many different things that it honestly amazes me. I even used one of her impressions as my text tone one time (yes, I’m a dork). On a real note though, she’s so happy and lively all the time and makes YouTube fun again. Plus, we share a HUGE love for Harry Potter.

#5 Madison Miller

Although I did not discover Madison until around a year ago, I’ve quickly fallen in love with her. I remember finding out that she used to be a teacher (which is my career path) and I was so excited. She’s seriously so gorgeous and amazing with her makeup skills. I love that she is so generous to her subscribers, constantly doing giveaways, and always gives us the down low on new products with her famous “Dope or Nope” videos. I can always turn to her for an honest review!

#6 ThatGirlShaeXo

This girl has been a ride or die for me for awhile now. From everything to her weight loss journey to her battles with acne-prone skin, I relate to so many REAL things that she talks about on her channel. Although she is known for being a beauty guru, she adheres to what I consider a large audience with her various types of videos. I adore her beauty videos just as much, though! I love when she does live swatching and I KNOW that Mama needs a little forehead bronzer to make her looks complete!

#7 Laura Leth

Although best known for her “Instagram-esque” videos–where she just showing you everything without voicing it, I love her to death. She does AMAZING makeup looks and uses such a great variety of drugstore and high-end products, in my opinion. Her looks are what drew me in because her makeup always looks flawless. She even has her own eyelash line, if I’m not mistaken, and she says that she wears lashes daily so what would be more appropriate?!

And that’s it for my favorite YouTubers! Although I have many that I watch and adore, these are the ones that keep me coming back again and again (even if I stray away for a little while). I love them all dearly and could only dream of getting to meet each of them some day. And if by some miracle they are reading this, I might pass out. 😅

xo Kimberly SignatureTwitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Tumblr

Any link marked with * is an affiliate link.

Continue Reading

Blogmas Day 11 | Body Positive Quotes for “Those” Moments

body positive quotes for those moments

Being the holidays, I haven’t exactly been taking care of my body the way I should. Granted, I really haven’t done that most of my life. I’m not going to lie. I’ve always hated exercise. I have asthma and have always been bigger. This makes exercising either painful or a real struggle. That’s why I just don’t do it. I’ve had those random spurts where I’ll go to the gym every day for a couple months and count my calories to lose weight. I’ll lose 10-15 pounds then I’ll give in to my desire… food. Now, I know this isn’t healthy, and believe me when I say I’m working on it, but I constantly knock myself down because of this.

I love food. It’s human and it’s what we all need to survive. Is chocolate, ice cream, bread, and pasta good for me? Well, no… but it’s delicious and makes me all warm and fuzzy when I eat it (really, it happens). Why should I hate myself for enjoying food? Why should I down myself for being plus size? I know what you’re thinking… I shouldn’t! And you’re right… but everyone struggles with their body image. Not just plus size girls like me, but all humans. Even little kids who realize that their bodies are changing and that they are different from that of their friends at school.

During these times, there’s nothing more comforting than realizing that it’s okay. It’s okay to be big, it’s okay to be small, it’s okay to be athletic, it’s okay to be normal. It’s just okay to be whatever you want and have whatever body you want. When I struggle, I look to articles, quotes, and my loved ones to bring myself happiness and comfort in who I am. Since I’ve been struggling, I wanted to extend some positivity to my readers and let you all know… you are never alone.

xo Kimberly SignatureTwitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Tumblr

Any link marked with * is an affiliate link.

Continue Reading

Blogmas Day 1 | Happy Birthday, Mom.

happy birthday mom

Although I have not talked about it on my blog, I have mentioned it on my social media. My mom, who was my best friend and my biggest inspiration, passed away on September 21st of this year. She was in surgery in order to better her lifestyle. The surgery went great but something happened in the recovery period and she did not make it. I still do not think I have truly come to terms with this tragedy. The relationship I had with my mom was like no other. She made me feel whole. I could tell her anything and she would answer as a friend and a mom but never held back her feelings about whatever it was. She was truly the ideal mother and all I could have ever wanted in a parent.

Since my birth father was not around for my childhood, she was all I had. She was the mom, the dad, the best friend, the shoulder to cry on, and so much more. We were always really close but once I moved to what I now consider my “hometown”, we became so much closer. She became what I aspired to be as a human being. She was the ideal worker, mother, friend, grandmother, and just perfect. Perfect in my eyes and in so many others. The amount of sadness that has been bestowed upon my life and my loved one’s lives has been massive. She was a huge part of our everyday lives and we are missing a big part of ourselves without her.

Today is her birthday. She would have been 47 years old today. She was so young, so gentle, and so kind. She had so much left to live for. She was about to graduate with a Bachelors in Business Administration, she was going to begin her ultimate weight loss surgery and live a healthier lifestyle, and she was going to do things that she always dreamed of! I was and still am so proud of her progress before she passed.

Some people say that “dwelling” on someone passing away is not healthy. Although I do get very upset when I realize I can’t call my mom and tell her I love her or complain about how much homework I have, I don’t consider my talking of her in this way dwelling on her being gone. I consider it admiring her life. She was the epitome of perfect in my eyes and, although there were many things she wanted to change, I love her just the way she was. She made life worth living and a smile worth showing.

I cannot explain how lost I feel without her, but she deserves to know, all the way up there, that we all are still thinking about her. We’re going to celebrate her birthday as if she never left us and hope she’ll stop by for a visit during the party. ❤️

I love you, Momma. I miss you so much.

R.I.P. Christina Anne Muso
December 1st, 1968 – September 21st, 2016

xo Kimberly Signature

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Tumblr

Any link marked with * is an affiliate link.

Continue Reading