Hiatus?

hiatus

hiatus

Well, it seems I’ve hit a dilemma with my life being so busy. I thought, with having so many posts prepared ahead of time, I would be able to keep scheduling¬†posts after those and keep up this semester while I student teach, but that does not seem to be the case. I’m pretty disappointed in myself as this was one of my goals. However, I am not giving up. I still am going to try my best to at least get content to you guys twice a week. I do not want to have my Blogger Spotlights as the only post I publish every single week, so that is why I say twice a week.

I have a lot of posts in mind, I just have not had the time to sit down and write them. I will likely change up my blogging schedule temporarily, or possibly permanently, once I am able to get some time in to do so. I feel like posting as often as I have has really made it hard to come up with original content and stuff that you guys actually want to see. I love writing and I love talking to you guys and I don’t want it to ever feel like a chore.

This being said, I am likely going to be on a hiatus until I get the free time to write for you guys. Recently, my days have been filled with nothing but lesson plans, worksheets, work, and teaching middle schoolers… and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just don’t think I’m ready to give up on Life of Kimberly. Not now, and hopefully not ever.

Love you, guys. ūüíĖ

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September Goals

september goals

This month is going to be my last one in my current student teaching placement and I am already super sad about it. I have grown to love middle school so much and I’m going to miss my teacher and the kids something fierce. However, I am excited to be in an elementary school for my last two placements! I believe my first one will be 5th grade… or is it Kindergarten? Ha! I know I have both and I know I’ll do both, the question is, in what order???

september goals

This post is going to include some goals for me because you guys¬†know¬†that I have to write it down or I won’t do it. These are the things I want to accomplish this month, whether it be blogging-related, personal, or just random.

  • Decide on a new apartment.¬†If you didn’t know, I am looking to move into a new apartment complex as I have been having some issues with my current one and I think it would just be best if I eliminated the stress entirely. I am looking into one area that is a bit more expensive, but I’m hoping I can swing it.
  • Continue blogging every other day.¬†This is seeming like it may be impossible with my schedule, but I am going to try to crank out as many blog posts as I can over the next three days I have off at my job. I’ll be at school during the day, so I’ll have a few hours after to work on them.
  • Spend more time with my puppy!¬†My more dog probably thinks that I hate him. With me working or student teaching every single day, I hardly get to spend time with him anymore. I am currently forcing myself to stay awake just so he isn’t locked in his crate all night after being in there all day. ūüôĀ #horribledogmom
  • Spend time with my friends.¬†I literally have been keeping to myself 24/7 here lately and it’s starting to take a toll on me. I used to spend time with most of my friends at least every week or so and now I can’t tell you last time I saw one of my friends, except the ones I work with!
  • Clean my house ENTIRELY.¬†I have made a lot of progress with this and done a lot of steps to complete this one but I have yet to be able to thoroughly clean my apartment since I moved in as I have worked every single day, or been doing something to do with student teaching.
  • Finish decorating. Although these seems a bit pointless since I’m moving in December but I’ve got all my stuff ready to hang up and complete my decor and just never can seem to find the time to do it.
  • Successfully complete one season of Game of Thrones. As I am on season one, it will likely be that one. I am so busy all the time that I never have the time to just sit down and watch it, even though I’ve already fallen in love with the series after only a few episodes!

Honestly, I didn’t realize how ridiculous some of these goals are, but my life has come to this point where I have to pencil in time with my dog… that’s pretty sad. I’m hoping things will die down more after student teaching and hopefully, I’ll find a job just off the bat (although I’m not holding my breath as December grads seem to have the hardest time when it comes to education jobs).

What are your goals for this month? Leave them in the comments down below!

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Life Update | Anxiety, Depression, & Student Teaching

life update

life update

It’s been awhile since I’ve just sat down and talked to you guys so I thought I’d do a little life update in the midst of all our regularly scheduled programming. So, as most of you know, my major is basically everything to me this past Friday, I had my first day of student teaching. This brought a whirlwind of emotions into my head. Although the day went well and I truly feel that I am going to enjoy this placement as well as my others later in the semester, I am still doubting myself in so many ways. I am a long-time sufferer of anxiety and depression. I have been battling my mental health for as long as I can remember. There have been days that I hardly check my phone and I just sleep the day away because I am so mentally exhausted.

My job is a very socially interactive deal and it takes a lot out of me every shift in order to stay happy, smiling, and provide, in relation to my opinions, the best customer service. It’s weird to actually say to someone, but I really am a very positive and generally happy person. When my anxiety and depression subside, I feel like my best self. I can talk to people all day, I am so confident in my abilities, and I feel like others see my true self. Here lately, those days have been few and far between.

I don’t know if it’s the things that are lingering in my mind or just an overall emotional breakdown, but I am just having a hard time pushing myself to get out of bed every morning. I constantly feel like someone is judging me, talking badly about me, or just trying to hurt me, when I know this isn’t the case. It’s even harder to deal with because these were all things that I confided to my mom about. If you have been around for awhile, you know my mom passed away last September and we are coming up on the one year mark. I honestly think this has the majority to do with my issues here lately.

Although I have some extremely supportive figures in my life, one in particular, that are¬†always¬†there for me whenever I need someone to talk to, I am constantly feeling as though I am a burden. In the back of my mind, I¬†know¬†that this is not true. I know that I am worth more than I think. I know that people care about me. I know that I have people I can talk to, but I still have problems battling that inner voice that tells me, “No, you’re not good enough. No one cares that you’re depressed. No one wants to hear your complaining. No. One. Cares.

In regards to student teaching, I am hoping that, over time, I will have enough confidence in my placements to work past these mental health battles that I am having. The classroom has always been where I am the happiest and where I feel that I shine the most. I¬†love¬†my career choice and wouldn’t change my path for anything in the world, but having my mind makes some days more difficult than others. It is times like these when I go to positive blog posts, quotes, and try my best (sometimes unsuccessfully) to reach out to those who I know will be there.

Here’s a quote that really speaks to me:

She was powerful, not because she wasn’t scared, but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear. – Atticus

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My “Me” Time Activities

me time

Making “me” time is something that I believe is essential to living a stress-free and happy life. If you don’t make time for yourself, how are you supposed to be well enough to make time for others? That being said, there are some things that I truly enjoy doing in order to get in a little “me” time. Whether I get to do these things every day, once a week, or once a month, I always try to make time for myself and I recommend that you all do as well.

me time

#1 Take a hot bath.

This is probably one of my favorite me time activities. I love to put some essential oils in my bathtub or make it all bubbly and just run the hottest water I can stand and soak. I’ll put on some relaxing tunes, light a few candles, and de-stress the day.

#2 Work on my blog!

Most people may not think of this as me time but I sure do. Blogging is something I love doing and I have such a passion for so when I get time to just sit down, work on my blog, and disconnect from everything else, I am a happy camper.

#3 Play video games.

Not that this is something “relaxing” necessarily but it is fun and makes me happy! Lately, I’ve been addicted to playing The Sims 2 again because they finally got it all debugged for Mac and I was able to score the Super Collection online for pretty cheap.

#4 Play with makeup.

When I want to cheer myself up, I’ll normally play with my makeup. Whether that’s work on swatching new products and taking photos or just doing a full face glam on myself for no reason, it makes me happy and that is the whole point.

#5 Play with my animals.

I have two cats and a puppy and they make the happiest animal mama around. They all are so adorable and loving. My puppy, Blaze, loves to play and give kisses and my biggest kitty, Chase, loves head scratches and cuddles. The little girl of the family, Lily, isn’t much for cuddles but she will allow the occasionally petting every now and then.

These are just some of the things that I enjoy doing to escape from the outside world of drama and despair. (I know, I’m dramatic.) What are some of your favorite things to do when you are trying to have some “me” time? Let me know in the comments below.

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August 2017 Blogging + Personal Goals

august goals

August is when my life really gets crazy so these goals are something I definitely need to focus in on and work towards. I start student teaching this month, I will be working still, and I want to make sure that I stay on top of my blogging schedule. That means that I have to plan, plan, plan! I have some big things in mind in my blogging life as well as my personal life.

august goals

Blogging Goals

  1. Reach 1,400 followers on Twitter. I am currently sitting just below 1,300 so I really want to try to push to make it to that 1,400 mark. My end-of-the-year goal is to make it to 2,000 but I don’t want to push myself too far and then get disappointed when it doesn’t happen so this is just a short term goal to make it to that.
  2. Continue blogging every other day. I am currently on a schedule where I blog every other day and this has been working out amazingly for me. I constantly have new content up and I am able to keep coming up with things because I have a break every other day.
  3. Reach 800 followers on Instagram. Instagram is something I just recently started trying to get more active on so I don’t want to push myself too far but I didn’t think I’d get to 700 so fast from where I was so I am going to shoot for 800 and hope for the best!
  4. Build @bliss_bloggers Twitter account. I just recently start a Twitter chat and retweet account for all us bloggers out there (if you’re not following, you should go do that here!). It’s a fun way to connect with bloggers, get your posts promoted for¬†free, and just have fun. I plan to expand it into a group Pinterest board and a Facebook group soon so stay tuned.

Personal Goals

  1. Dive head first into student teaching. I start on August 11th and I am sooo excited but also extremely nervous. I really just want to put my all into this because this is how I am going to get the experience I need to get my own teaching job after I graduate in December. Wish me luck!
  2. Finish at least one book. I used to read nonstop and now I feel like I never even crack open a book. I just updated my Kindle not long ago and I have tons of physical copies of books so I just need to finally get back into my old habits and read, read, read!
  3. Organize my apartment. My home is still a bit of a mess from moving in as I’ve still been working nonstop since that happened. I really want to finally get all my decorations and organization done this month so I can feel 100% comfortable every time I come home. I’m slowly working towards it but it’s a work in progress.
  4. Get back into actively planning every day. Planning is something I love to do and I love making my planner look adorable on top of that. I have all the supplies I need and, with a busier schedule coming, I should be able to easily get back into it. I just hate when I forget about it and don’t look at it for a day because it throws me off completely.

That’s it for my goals for the month of August! I hope you guys enjoyed reading them and I really hope I can make it through without dying of exhaustion! It’s going to be a busy month but I got this and I know I’ll make it the best one yet in 2017.

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Tea Time Chit-Chat #3

tea time chit chat

tea time chit chat

Tea time chit chat did not get forgotten! I have had some crazy changes going on and life, in general, has decided to field goal hit me right in the face. However, through the negatives, I have finally found another job that I feel like will really work with my upcoming student teaching. I am super excited to be leaving the fast food life behind and moving into something with more opportunities and better pay (’cause we all know that this is¬†real¬†nice).

I think this is probably the first cup of tea I’ve had since I moved into my new apartment (apartment tour post???). I have so much to do still and the amount of pain that has taken over my body here lately has not agreed with this whole “moving” process. Apparently cleaning, organizing, unpacking, and moving in ways I don’t normally move is not the best thing to just throw yourself into… who knew? Thankfully, I have awesome friends and family that have been helping me through it.

Most of what feels like emptiness is just where I really need to get my pictures, canvases, and overall decor back up. It makes my apartment a little more… me. I have been having this weird empty feeling here lately that doesn’t quite meet depression but not quite something else. I just feel like something is missing and I really need to take a few mental health days to myself to recuperate before my seminars begin in August.

Other than life having a dance party on my head, I think I am making it just fine. I’m alive, my bills are paid, and those I love are taken care of. I honestly just wanted to come and talk to you guys… getting it all out seems to make me feel better (although I may be slightly insane for thinking you guys actually¬†listen).

Everyone has little bumps in the road, it’s up to you whether you suffer in silence or enjoy the ride.

xo Kimberly Signature

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New Home, New Start

my cat Lily

I’ve got some news for you all! I am now moving into a one-bedroom apartment, on my own. I have never completely alone before so this is going to be a new adventure for me. I am super excited to finally just have a place to myself to do what I’d like but also very nervous. The only reason I’ve always had a roommate is that¬†I get a lot of anxiety being alone in “unprotected” places, I guess you would call it. Since we don’t have security or anything other than the lock on my door for my apartment, it’s weird being here alone. It’s kind of nerve-wracking.

moving out

However, I think I can do it! The plan is to move over on June 30th (yes, only a little over 13 days away). I have not even begun packing and I’m not even sure of where to start. I need to get boxes, organize stuff, get rid of things I don’t use, and clean my place. A friend of mine is actually taking over my two-bedroom, which is why I was able to get the one-bedroom. Being without a roommate, it was nonsense to have a two-bedroom just for me. I will now have my only little corner and it won’t be too incredibly expensive.

my cat Lily

Thankfully my brother, nephew, and one of my brother’s friends are going to help me move everything over once the day comes. It’s so hot here in Kentucky so I am really hoping for a cool day whenever we have to do all of that (probably not going to happen). I am very grateful that this is happening a month before student teaching because I don’t think I’d be able to do that and this at the same time. Any of you got big things going on soon? Moving? Got a new pet? New job? Update me in the comments!

xo Kimberly Signature

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Tea Time Chit-Chat #1

tea time 1

I thought this would be a good little series to start to keep me from feeling too stressed when writing on the blog. I feel like I sometimes it felt as though I was writing content because I thought it was what others wanted to read rather than what I wanted to write about, but my blog is for me and it started with the intent of helping me with my anxiety and depression. So, I’m going to use it as just that and start a daily, every other day, or whenever I feel like it tea time chit-chat post. I’ll number them off and hopefully get something going where I can have myself¬†and¬†readers looking forward to it.

tea time 1

So, as I sip my tea, I hear my pup chewing on his “log” — yes it is a log, not a stick — and the rain falling slowly outside, I’m thinking of the day ahead. I was supposed to go to work at 7:30 this morning but someone has quit in the night shift and I was already double scheduled, accidentally wrote down for a morning and closing shift, so they sent me back and said to come in for the night shift instead. A little salty because I was already there, awake, dressed, and now I feel dog tired but don’t really want to sleep the day away… and I know that is exactly what I would do if I went back to sleep right now. Might have a wee nap later to keep me awake during my closing shift, since we’ve started on summer hours and don’t close until 11 p.m. on normal weekdays now.

I need to go to the post office and get my package that has been sitting there since the day after I left for Ireland (yes, I realize I’m awful at procrastinating and forgetting things). I’ll probably try to pop over there and get that today. I¬†did¬†manage to adult somewhat today and dropped off my rent in the drop box for my landlord — though today was the last day that it was able to be turned in (I know, I know — I’m awful).

Honestly, I am really hoping for a more positive and less anxiety-driven day today. It seems like every day has been so draining for me here lately and I hate that. I am tired by eight at night and ready to just sleep for 10+ hours. That’s not something I need to get into the habit of. I got my letter about student teaching seminar a couple days ago so I am getting more and more excited about student teaching. It’s only 66 days, 22 hours, and 29 some-odd minutes away until I will be in the classroom on my very first day. I have so much planning and shopping to do! I need more professional clothing because I will have to do laundry waaay too often if I just stick to what I have now. I need more slacks specifically. Although dresses are cute, I’m not always in a dressy mood.

Well, I guess that’s enough rambling for today. (Also, let me know what you think of the blog photo because it’s actually mine today. I wanted to capture the rainy day with my cup of tea!)

xo Kimberly Signature

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6 Things That Really Grind My Gears

grinds my gears

Can’t be positive all the time, can ya? Just figured I’d rant about life in general to you guys since this seems to be the best form of therapy that I could ever ask for (and whaddayaknow… it’s free!). Life is too short to be wasting my life away on people, things, and actions that aren’t going to help better me in the end. You wanna know what really grinds my gears?

grinds my gears

  1. Slow drivers in pretty weather. I can be pretty patient with bad/slow drivers if the weather is gross, thunder-y, stormy, and just overall bleh. I cannot however be okay with someone who drives ridiculously slow whenever there is no reason to do so. What’s going on? Did you forget the speed limit? Could you not see it? Do we need to go to the eye doctor together? Come on, I’ll hold your hand. Honestly, I would love to help out all these awesome people reach their full potential in the area of automotive control.
  2. People who follow the majority. Not saying that just because you believe the same thing as a large group of others that this applies to you. No. I mean those that follow the majority because they don’t care nor do they understand anything to do with said situation and just choose to jump on the bandwagon and take a little spin around the park. This is just too much for me.
  3. Drama. I would say a specific type but it seems all types are drifting into my shores here lately. I. do. not. care. Please leave me out of your petty, high school drama. I graduate college in December, I live on my own, and I take care of myself and my animals. I have no time nor energy to deal with fake people, whether it be friends, family, or complete strangers.
  4. Talking down to someone when you’re the problem. Just yesterday, I heard a woman talking mad crap about my tattoo shop. Granted, I am biased and I am not familiar with the participate place I was at (was with a friend to get her tongue pierced), but why was that necessary? Do you think that it makes the other shop feel all warm and fuzzy that the other place wasn’t your cup of tea and that they are everything but nice? Not to mention that it was hilarious when I went to schedule my next tattoo and the guy knew exactly who I was talking about and said she was mad because she drove from another city to come in, without an appointment, and they couldn’t fit her in at that moment so she was salty.
  5. Humid heat. Why, oh why, is this a thing? Like, dry heat I can handle. No problem. Beautiful. Let me lay in it all day. Humid heat? Hit me upside the head with a sledgehammer because I am dead. It makes me feel disgusting. Nevermind what is does to my hair, makeup, and how badly I smell when I start sweating after being outside for the five minutes it takes to let my dog go potty. Imagine a whole day out there? Bless outdoor workers (like my brother and uncle).
  6. When my nails break. Do you know how annoying it is when my nails break? You see, I’m OCD. Like in all sense of the meaning. I cannot just let my nails sit there with one oddball looking one. I have to try to make them look even and presentable… even if I don’t have a nail file, nail clippers, or anything to groom them with. This means, yes, I will bite at them, tear them on with my fingers, and do whatever I can to make those puppies look normal again.

What grinds your gears, gets you going, and just overall could ruin your good mood? Let me know in the comments.

xo Kimberly Signature

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Lost Without You

lost

I’m so lost without you.

lost

This is exactly how I am feeling. It’s been eight months, two weeks, and one day since I last saw you. This emotional rollercoaster of mine is about to derail. I just keep seeing her beautiful face and remembering her comforting voice. It feels so good and so terrifying all at the same time, like the adrenaline you get from going up on that rollercoaster.

After one month, I didn’t know if I’d ever be okay. My world was spiraling and I still tried to pick up my phone to text and call her whenever I needed her. My family would ask if I was okay and I’d just give a fake smile and say, “I’m trying to be.” I can’t¬†express how hard it is to feel this distant from those that I love the move.

After three months, it was her birthday. It was the Christmas celebration without her. It was starting a new year soon, knowing that I would never get to wish her a Happy New Year ever again. I could only hope she was three margaritas deep in afterlife paradise and telling me to, “Smile, baby girl.”

After six months, I felt like maybe it would get easier. I was still depressed and worried and crying a lot, but I didn’t wake up every morning feeling as though it was a bad dream. Realizing it wasn’t just a dream was probably the worst way to deal with the pain. I wanted to forget. I wanted to heal. I wanted her to come back and be by my side. We all know that isn’t possible.

Now, heading towards the ninth month, I don’t know that I feel any better. I feel weak. I feel like I can’t control my own emotions. I never had a handle on them but now it’s just out of control. I try to wake up from this nightmare and I keep getting reminded that it is reality. This is my reality. Without her.

I don’t know that I’ll ever be okay again. They say that there is sacredness in tears. I don’t know how to feel about this. Crying has always made me feel weak, but it’s supposed to make me strong. My tears are supposed to speak, but I hear no words. Tears show that there was once happiness, but I have to wonder… will I ever find that happiness again?

xo Kimberly Signature

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