6 Things That Really Grind My Gears

grinds my gears

Can’t be positive all the time, can ya? Just figured I’d rant about life in general to you guys since this seems to be the best form of therapy that I could ever ask for (and whaddayaknow… it’s free!). Life is too short to be wasting my life away on people, things, and actions that aren’t going to help better me in the end. You wanna know what really grinds my gears?

grinds my gears

  1. Slow drivers in pretty weather. I can be pretty patient with bad/slow drivers if the weather is gross, thunder-y, stormy, and just overall bleh. I cannot however be okay with someone who drives ridiculously slow whenever there is no reason to do so. What’s going on? Did you forget the speed limit? Could you not see it? Do we need to go to the eye doctor together? Come on, I’ll hold your hand. Honestly, I would love to help out all these awesome people reach their full potential in the area of automotive control.
  2. People who follow the majority. Not saying that just because you believe the same thing as a large group of others that this applies to you. No. I mean those that follow the majority because they don’t care nor do they understand anything to do with said situation and just choose to jump on the bandwagon and take a little spin around the park. This is just too much for me.
  3. Drama. I would say a specific type but it seems all types are drifting into my shores here lately. I. do. not. care. Please leave me out of your petty, high school drama. I graduate college in December, I live on my own, and I take care of myself and my animals. I have no time nor energy to deal with fake people, whether it be friends, family, or complete strangers.
  4. Talking down to someone when you’re the problem. Just yesterday, I heard a woman talking mad crap about my tattoo shop. Granted, I am biased and I am not familiar with the participate place I was at (was with a friend to get her tongue pierced), but why was that necessary? Do you think that it makes the other shop feel all warm and fuzzy that the other place wasn’t your cup of tea and that they are everything but nice? Not to mention that it was hilarious when I went to schedule my next tattoo and the guy knew exactly who I was talking about and said she was mad because she drove from another city to come in, without an appointment, and they couldn’t fit her in at that moment so she was salty.
  5. Humid heat. Why, oh why, is this a thing? Like, dry heat I can handle. No problem. Beautiful. Let me lay in it all day. Humid heat? Hit me upside the head with a sledgehammer because I am dead. It makes me feel disgusting. Nevermind what is does to my hair, makeup, and how badly I smell when I start sweating after being outside for the five minutes it takes to let my dog go potty. Imagine a whole day out there? Bless outdoor workers (like my brother and uncle).
  6. When my nails break. Do you know how annoying it is when my nails break? You see, I’m OCD. Like in all sense of the meaning. I cannot just let my nails sit there with one oddball looking one. I have to try to make them look even and presentable… even if I don’t have a nail file, nail clippers, or anything to groom them with. This means, yes, I will bite at them, tear them on with my fingers, and do whatever I can to make those puppies look normal again.

What grinds your gears, gets you going, and just overall could ruin your good mood? Let me know in the comments.

xo Kimberly Signature

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A fat girl living in a thin world

a fat girl living in a thin world

a fat girl living in a thin world

You know, I’ve always wanted to be like the pretty girls. Thin, petite, beautiful… the whole works. I wanted to feel like I fit into today’s societal norms. I have never been a small girl. Even as a kid, I grew up with a little extra always weighing on me. I was always made fun of for being “fat” in school. Once I started having problems finding clothes in all the mainstream stores, it became apparent that I was different. I wasn’t like my friends who were sizes 2 and 4 and could easily wear any medium shirt you handed them. I had to get an extra large to be comfortable and I hated the feeling of not being able to get something because they didn’t carry it in my size. Now, being a size 24, I feel like a complete failure.

I feel like I have failed myself and my body. The body that I was blessed with is now a symbol of my doubt in my abilities and of the lack of effort I’ve put into my health. Yes, I have a lot of factors working against myself but I don’t exactly eat and perform how I should in order to be at a healthy weight for myself. I should be around 130 pounds for someone my age and height. Being over twice that is something I never thought I’d ever be dealing with.

Most days, I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I feel disgusted with the horror that I have created. Between giving in to my addiction of food, depression, and lack of self-control, I have never given my body the treatment it deserves. There are times when I try to eat healthier, exercise regularly, and maintain a healthy lifestyle… but then I get discouraged by the tiniest thing and I’m right back at step one.

I had a realization this weekend that hit me hard. I realized that I have hit my all time low. I am so far in depression that I cannot pick myself up to even work towards a happier life. I need a push. Looking in the mirror and trying to shop for clothes this weekend was that push. As I looked through the plus size sections of Charlotte Russe and Forever 21, I saw how skewed our society is towards thin women.

I believe all bodies are beautiful. Whether you’re a size 2 or 22, you are beautiful and special in your own unique ways. However, I also believe in living a healthy lifestyle, no matter what that means for the number on the scale. Looking at the selections given in the “Plus” sections of these mainstream stores shows the lack of accommodations made for big girls. They provide the same clothes in the same styles, with no work towards a better fit or more appropriate materials for the body type they are targeting. They simply recreate the same tight-fitting, little black dress and expect it to work for every body type that comes in. To me, that just creates more depression and self-esteem issues among the plus size community.

Yes, many of us want to lose weight to not only be healthy but feel healthy but shouldn’t our society accept us as we are in all of our forms, good or bad? This is something that often baffles me when I think about the world today. That no matter how many times by family and friends tell me that I’m beautiful, I can look online or in a magazine and see that I am not beautiful to the majority of our world.

Plain and simple, it hurts and I want to feel like I’m a part of my world. Maybe being thin isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I know all women and men have self-esteem and body image issues that they fight separately every day. I have never doubted that, but looking at our world makes me wonder if, even with all the body positive and #TheseCurves campaigns and movements, will the world ever acknowledge a fat girl in a thin world?

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xo Kimberly Signature

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